Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
