david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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