bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
