so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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