Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Farmville is her only friend.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
