Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize