He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
