so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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