About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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