so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
