ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
