How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
