Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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