Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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