what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
