ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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