i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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