if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
