I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Mom said you looked used
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
