There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
