Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
