The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
