you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
