How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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