exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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