nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
