Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
