I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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