we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
