I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't deserve a penis
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
