How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
