you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
