Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
