Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
