If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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