i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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