he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
