the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
tell me about the fingering
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