last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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