I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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