She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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