Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I sprained my soul last night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
