It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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