please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
