How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
