yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
