At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
