i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
