Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
