ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
