What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
