We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
