I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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