So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize