Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
