She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
