May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
