I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
