did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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