I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ttyl tear gas
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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