i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
