Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
