there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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