I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
