Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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