i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
